You Do Not Have to Conquer the Doubt Demons, Fear Fences and Paralyzing Plateaus Alone…Even the Lone Ranger had his Side-Kick, Tonto

Ever feel happiness and hope after making the decision to make a change, transition or re-creation – only to fall back into the quicksand of your situation?

Do you ever find yourself fired up after a seminar or conference – only to lose all hope and drive after just a few days later?

Doubt Demons and Fear Fences seem to just wait to spring up as we summons the courage to make a major decision or change in our lives. To admit our true feelings – to realize our real purpose, which is key to happiness and success – only to feel thwarted by the insecurities that surface – can be emotionally and physically paralyzing.

Ever feel as if you really are trying to move forward but feel stuck? Don’t you find that it is when we feel stuck that the real fear and doubt seem to move into our heads and take up shop?

Ever feel as if you are so weak or overwhelmed that you imagine your dreams swirling around the sink – slipping down the drain?

Beginning a journey is not the only time Doubt and Fear can try to block our path.  Along our ride toward our dreams and desires, it is natural to hit a plateau. This plateau may be misinterpreted to mean we are done with our journey – as far as we can hope to go – nothing more to do but what we are currently doing – and IT has stopped working! Our forward movement can become paralyzed. This plateau may cause some people to become doubtful or fearful of ever attaining the desired success. Many people tend to give up at this point in the ride but that is like stopping a project one step short of success. It is similar to giving up just before hitting that vein of gold.

The pressure we may feel from the doubt demons in our head and the other less than encouraging people around us assist our fears to throw up seemingly insurmountable fences. It can feel overwhelming to fight. But face it and fight through it we must.

Ever wake up and want to go back to sleep because you didn’t want to face the day?

Ever utter a positive affirmation – only to feel your stomach seize up and hear doubt demons start snarking in your head?

Sometimes it feels as if we are fighting ourselves – the whole world or both. So do not consider quitting – you may be just getting to the really good stuff! But realize that a fence or plateau is actually an opportunity for growth. It is a fear fence that challenges us to stretch and conquer and the paralyzing plateau that indicates the time in which we need to take a breather, evaluate and rededicate.


Our Success depends on how we manage these doubts, fears and plateaus!

Ever wonder in frustration – How can I ever get through all the challenges? How can I succeed?

Enlist SUPPORT! Support is the strong backbone that gives us added strength when we need it. And everyone needs support at times. Asking for support is NOT a sign or weakness.

Loved ones and friends? The unfortunate truth is that in most cases, our loved ones and friends unintentionally- or maybe intentionally – accentuate these negative feelings. These people likely love you and don’t want to see you hurt or disappointed. It is possible that some people in your environment may be jealous and rather not see you succeed. These people may be made to feel worse about their own lack of ambition or courage. It is easier for the folks around us to accept the same old person we’ve always been.

Support Groups? Support groups can be helpful but many are not. Sometimes the group will feed on their doubts, fears as well as lament about their plateaus – thus creating more fear and doubt. The participants in a support group are there for their own challenges – not necessarily to focus on and support YOU.

Seminars and Conferences? Seminars and conferences are fantastic! They are great tools for new ideas and networking. They can even give you a boost in energy and rededication. The only downside is that the boost does not regenerate forever. Consistent – continuous support is needed for major lasting change.

So how do we face the scary challenge and move forward?

Find YOUR Side-Kick. The Lone Ranger had Tonto – Batman had Robin – Even Tiger Woods turns to his Caddy.

Your Coach is your Side Kick for Success!! Focused Unconditional Support is why having your own coach can be crucial for your journey. Your coach’s mission is to listen, respect, support and move you forward toward the very goals that you seek. Our sole focus is YOU! We are here to help you successfully conquer those doubt demons, fear fences and paralyzing plateaus. We’ll saddle up and ride along with you every step of the way! Yee Haa!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Janus  Moncur – The Co-Creative Coach(TM)- is a Certified Professional Coach  specializing in Career and Success  Strategies.  Janus is the CEO and Founder of Co-Creative Coaching, LLC. She works with individuals as well as groups to define direction, conquer challenges, and navigate transitions on the ride toward re-creating one’s personal and professional success. For more information or a free sample consultation session, please feel free to connect with Janus at www.theco-creativecoach.com.

Five Favorite Motivational Tools (more really) to Help You to do what it takes to be YOU

We all hear it now a ‘days…Do what you want to do…Be who you want to be…But some days you just gotta ask ‘How’?

Here are some personally tried and tested tips that I have pulled out of my own saddlebags to share…

“How do you walk in and do jobs even when you are inexperienced?”

One of my favorite keys to success…Fake It ’til You Make It!

Now I’m not saying to walk into a surgery room and start operating, but for most tasks, the best way to become good at something is to tell yourself you can do it and do it.  You may not be perfect at first, but you will learn, and usually quickly, when you have to.

“How do you face your computer each day – even tough ones?”

I make sure I have something waiting for me that I want to see. You may remember a site I mentioned before, where I signed up to receive messages, www.TUT.com by Mike Dooley – One of my very favorites.  I also have two sites that I’ve made it my duty to support by daily clicks – FreeKibble.com and TheAnimalRescueSite.com.  Once I read my clever uplifting message from “the Universe” and have done my little part for my favorite type of cause, I am ready to face the work day with a smile!

“How do you get so many things done when you feel overwhelmed?”

Two Super Successful Tools for this one:

One: When I am working on a project that will take more than one sitting, I will stop on the project in an area, or on a part, that I really don’t want to stop on.  Meaning, it is a part that I really want to finish or that isn’t a good stopping spot, so it will nag at me to get back to the project.  You may know that Hemingway did this with his writing.  It is more difficult to start inertia, so if you already have some momentum going it is so much easier to keep things going.

Two: I use my Personal Planner Pages to keep me organized, scheduled, and mindful of what I’m doing and why I am doing it. My Super CVA, Anne Barton, helps keep this tool new and refreshed each month on our website and gives you the link through our Success Newsletter.  For me, anyway, our Personal Planner Pages are more than just a to-do list…but check it out for yourself!

“How do you get yourself to do things that you really don’t want to do?”

Two Positively Powerful Tools for this one:

One: Revisit your WHY. Remind yourself WHY you are doing the thing you must do.

Two: Dress up the Duty – Make it more fun or at least do-able.  Take a friend with you or add a coffee treat to your other errands.  Find a way to make what you must do just a little bit more do-able, less dreadful.

“When you are really tired and starting to feel unsure about yourself, what do you do?”

I gather support.  Support can be a trusted friend or favorite book for some.  One sure-fire way to feel like the greatest person ever is – look deep into your dog’s eyes and ask in a happy sing song voice, ” Is Mommy the very best (fill in the blank) in the world?”   Works every time!

But if you don’t have your own lovable dog to adore you – then stop by your local animal shelter.  Guaranteed adoration and love is there every day!!

Happy Trails!

Discover The Greatest Secret Weapon for Success – What Do the Ultra-Successful Do?

Watch video below — more and more people are working harder, longer and are not happy in their professional and personal lives. Maybe they need a change, maybe they want more out of life, maybe they have a dream but are unsure how to begin…
Do you want SUCCESS in your life? Do you have a plan to get it? How do the Famous People become so Successful?

Success-Makers Use Flex-Power or Tips on How to Recover after Being Kicked in the Teeth

Ever feel like your project was riding along smoothly only to have your horse stumble and throw you into a nearby thicket? Ever turn in your beloved project only to have it returned with such venomous rejection you had to consider your own sanity for submitting it in the first place? Ever make a fine culinary concoction only to be told it wasn’t good enough to use to slop pigs? Ever pump yourself up to perform at an event, only to fall flat on your face, literally (flash to Carrie Bradshaw in her modeling gig on “Sex and the City”). Sometimes it all seems perfect to us but someone or something comes along to test our conviction and commitment. I liken it to getting kicked in the teeth by a donkey (and you may feel like a real <male donkey> when this happens. After sitting up and spitting out your teeth and wondering why you didn’t see it coming you might ask yourself…”How do some people become successful against all odds?”

Answer: Successful folks who seem to flow through every challenge and arrive at their goal every time – use Flex-Power!

Flex-Power is a term I use that comes from thinking about the horses in my life.  Picture the beautiful white Lipizzaner Stallions that are famed for their extraordinarily controlled but elegant movement … These big bold animals look like royalty with their powerfully arched necks and  tucked noses.  The grace these horses exhibit has been compared to dancing.  In fact, the movements that they are famous for are called “Airs Above the Ground” in which they perform difficult moves with the beauty of a ballerina. Watching a well trained Lippazaner execute his routine to music will bring tears to your eyes. Training of these majestic animals takes years.  One of the tasks during training is to teach the horse to “Flex” at his poll.

The poll of a horse is at the top of the head, back between the ears, where the head and neck meet.  Think of a hinge such as a door hinge with the head being the door and the neck being the more stationary all or doorway.  The poll is what flexes to produce the give and take of the communication and submission between horse and rider.  A well-trained horse will flex at his poll and give into the bit so the movement produced is balanced and controlled. This makes transitions easier and more graceful as the horse is gathered up to do whatever comes next.  A less than well-trained horse is more likely to exhibit a sloppier presentation with his nose stuck out and legs scrambling underneath.  Transitions are awkward and poorly executed. The horse may fight against the rider, sticking out his nose and stretching out his neck – bit in mouth and stubbornly plowing forward on his own agenda.  There is a lack of control and a definite lack of grace.  Think of the newborn colt with his gangly legs and stretched out neck as he first tries to motate.  It looks adorably awkward as he struggles to find his balance.  Just a few days later, the colt gets his “sea-legs” and can be seen with his little neck arched, nose tucked in, prancing around with mincing little dance steps, strutting his stuff to show off for his  Momma.  At the slightest provocation, that little colt might flip up his tail, give a little buck, and take off at a high speed gallop. His little nose will point in the direction of his outstretched neck as he goes flat out with all the speed he can muster.  Just like the thoroughbreds as they near the finish line, the need is for speed and full forward propulsion.  A quick transition at this point is difficult and dangerous.  A quick move other than forward could cause a stumble or snap a limb.

Flex-Power is the term I use to describe the ultimate  energy and grace we need for life transitions. Just like the horse, if we stubbornly stick out our noses and stretch out our necks, a quick transition or change is difficult and can cause problems for us.  We can feel blind-sided and out of control when our forward movement is tampered with.  We may be knocked off our stride and sometimes knocked off our feet when we run headlong into an obstacle.  The same can happen when we have blinders on and only focus forward without ever looking around.  We can be T-boned and near even see the culprit coming as we lie on our back with the proverbial stars coo-cooing around our heads.  It happens to all of the people who are courageous enough to take risks.  But those are also the people that will make their dreams come true!  And you CAN recover from a teeth-kicking!

Here are some tips:

- Collect yourself up to improve your balance and flexibility BEFORE something happens. With this I mean to start each day with some sort of grounding routine that can set you up to face your day in a positive way.  You may meditate, work-out, read, write, or something else. Take the time to do it and you will see a HUGE difference in your ability to handle all things!

- When something happens…STOP! When all of the wind is knocked out of you, it is easy to stop because you have no choice.  This could be a good thing actually.  When you have to stop, you can take a couple of minutes to collect yourself before making any other moves or blurting out something you may regret saying later. Nothing is worse than hitting your head against a brick wall only to jump right back up to do it again.  That wall isn’t moving so you need to realize that before giving yourself a concussion.

- Don’t react – THINK! If you are already in stunned silence (been there!) then continue to be silent and gather up your thoughts to rein in control. Don’t let your thoughts gallop wildly away with your confidence and commitment to whatever it is that you are working on.  In addition, this technique also applies to the time it takes to wipe egg off your face. Consider all your options and pick the best way to go or do. You may need to figure out a way around, over, or under that wall. You may need to recruit help or get advice. Ask for second opinions.  Maybe you are too emotionally close to a project.  Maybe you are writing a book that is near and dear to your heart and your first choice in publicists scoffs and says the story has “issues” and can’t work for any age!  Is there a grain of truth? You need to find out.  Don’t burn any bridges, just thank her (she may have just saved you from publishing a complete flop) and do some more research and investigating.

- Move forward again – carefully and cautiously with collection and renewed confidence.  Another way to say it is ‘pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again’… but you may not have to start all the way over.  You already took a good look at your options by stopping and thinking. Now is the time to act, albeit carefully and cautiously – but you really do know what to do so trust your instincts.  Yes, you may have fallen off in the show ring in front of a huge audience, but you can remount quickly and hope the “judge” didn’t see you. You can still win but if you don’t win this time, maybe next time will be your turn! Go ahead and move forward with your project but stay collected so you can use Flex-power to conquer the next wall that may pop up in your path.

You will be able to dance around hedge rows like a Lipizzaner Stallion!

“Excuses are Like Nose Holes… EVERYBODY has Them!”

“I’m too busy!”    “I have to take care of ______ (you fill in the blank).”    “I shouldn’t take this time for me when I could be working on _____ (same, again).”  “I might become a great success and then lose all my friends!”  “I  …blah,blah,blah.”

I know – I’ve been there.  Thinking up all kinds of reasons to not get around to doing the very thing I really want to do!   Still getting around to getting around to it.

A wonderful woman once told me, “Janus, Excuses are like nose holes….EVERYBODY has them!”  (Thanks, Maureen!)   OK, that got me thinking… (After my pride stopped smarting)  The sad thing is that I knew she was right!  I had golden opportunities wasting away that I could have taken advantage of but didn’t.  I did make all kinds of great excuses.  They sounded noble, honorable, and self-sacrificing to my ear.  But when I told Maureen, she’d bat down every lame excuse with reality.

“But Maureen, I really should be helping you clean barn!”  (See? Noble, honorable, and self-sacrificing!)

“Well, Janus, if you really want to help me, get off your seat and do what you know you can do and you’d be helping ALL of us!  Besides, you could just get up earlier to clean barn then have plenty of time to get on with your other stuff.  Bottom-line?  You’re just plain scared.”

What!!!!  Heck No!  I’m being noble, honorable, and self-sacrificing, right?  Who wouldn’t want to proceed with the project or work of their dreams?!  But I had to admit – not going for it made it really easy to NOT fail, to Not show up my friends, to NOT become someone folks might come to depend on, to NOT embarrass myself, to NOT seem braggadocios, to NOT seem overambitious, to NOT be rejected….All things that I secretly feared would make others maybe not like me or might be scary to face…

Well….BULL-PUCKY!  Excuses ARE like Nose-Holes!  EVERYBODY does have them!  The difference is that  SuCCessful Folks do their own thing ANYWAY!

So… I ask you?  What IS your latest excuse to not do what YOU really want to do?  Here is your SuCCess Task:

1.  Write down as many reasons as you can possibly come up with for NOT getting on with ______________. (Leaving lines between each excuse.)

2.  Next (Email, fax, hand-over ) your list to someone you trust to be kind but truthful with you. Instruct your partner to be brutally honest with you and to refute each one of your excuses.

3.  Plaster a smile on your face, drop the defensiveness, and copy down each “reality” given to you by your partner.

4.  Thank them – maybe take them to dinner – and be grateful you have someone in your life that won’t pretend to believe your Bull-Pucky!

If you are really feeling ornery, send that list to me.  I’ve probably used most of those Nose-Holes myself.  I’d love to be your SuCCess SideKick!

See You Down the Trail!!

Janus  Moncur – The Co-Creative Coach™

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE/BLOG IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Janus  Moncur – The Co-Creative Coach™- is a Certified Professional Coach,  CEO and Founder of Co-Creative Coaching, LLC.  She works with individuals as well as groups to overcome fears, conquer challenges and navigate transitions on the ride toward re-creating one’s personal and professional success. Janus specializes in helping new solo-prenuers, as well as those involved in career and life transition, in a playful, non-threatening format with her horsey-sense stories and pet parables.  For more information or a free sample consultation session, please feel free to connect with Janus at http://www.theco-creativecoach.com.

Happy New Year!! What do YOU intend in 2010?

We’ve made it through the gifts and goodies of the Holidays…Here come’s the New Year…So what you YOU intend in 2010? What’s your plan? Don’t let another year slip by without doing what YOU really want to do. Whether you want to change careers, start your own business, write a book, or get in shape…whatever you are inspired to do…DO IT!!

I’ve put together an awesome planner to help you do just that!!  (With the help of Awesome Anne, of course!) Anne has formatted the planning pages into a PC and Mac version and there are available for FREE on our coaching website. Just click on the following link and find the month of January waiting for you to use!

http://www.theco-creativecoach.com/planner-page/

As an added bonus – we are offering a 35% discount to our SuCCess Posse Partners – on all coaching services with a 3 month commitment. (For more info on this special offer, contact me directly through www.TheCo-CreativeCoach.com or on Facebook.

What! You’re not a SuCCess Posse Partner yet??!?!? Well, just go to our site www.TheCo-CreativeCoach.com and sign up for the newsletter and Ta-Da!! You become part of the Posse!!

Make this YOUR Year!! We’re here to help!

Have A FANTASTIC New Year!  See you down the Trail!!

Janus Moncur CPC – The Co-Creative Coach™

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