Ever feel like your project was riding along smoothly only to have your horse stumble and throw you into a nearby thicket? Ever turn in your beloved project only to have it returned with such venomous rejection you had to consider your own sanity for submitting it in the first place? Ever make a fine culinary concoction only to be told it wasn’t good enough to use to slop pigs? Ever pump yourself up to perform at an event, only to fall flat on your face, literally (flash to Carrie Bradshaw in her modeling gig on “Sex and the City”). Sometimes it all seems perfect to us but someone or something comes along to test our conviction and commitment. I liken it to getting kicked in the teeth by a donkey (and you may feel like a real <male donkey> when this happens. After sitting up and spitting out your teeth and wondering why you didn’t see it coming you might ask yourself…”How do some people become successful against all odds?”
Answer: Successful folks who seem to flow through every challenge and arrive at their goal every time – use Flex-Power!
Flex-Power is a term I use that comes from thinking about the horses in my life. Picture the beautiful white Lipizzaner Stallions that are famed for their extraordinarily controlled but elegant movement … These big bold animals look like royalty with their powerfully arched necks and tucked noses. The grace these horses exhibit has been compared to dancing. In fact, the movements that they are famous for are called “Airs Above the Ground” in which they perform difficult moves with the beauty of a ballerina. Watching a well trained Lippazaner execute his routine to music will bring tears to your eyes. Training of these majestic animals takes years. One of the tasks during training is to teach the horse to “Flex” at his poll.
The poll of a horse is at the top of the head, back between the ears, where the head and neck meet. Think of a hinge such as a door hinge with the head being the door and the neck being the more stationary all or doorway. The poll is what flexes to produce the give and take of the communication and submission between horse and rider. A well-trained horse will flex at his poll and give into the bit so the movement produced is balanced and controlled. This makes transitions easier and more graceful as the horse is gathered up to do whatever comes next. A less than well-trained horse is more likely to exhibit a sloppier presentation with his nose stuck out and legs scrambling underneath. Transitions are awkward and poorly executed. The horse may fight against the rider, sticking out his nose and stretching out his neck – bit in mouth and stubbornly plowing forward on his own agenda. There is a lack of control and a definite lack of grace. Think of the newborn colt with his gangly legs and stretched out neck as he first tries to motate. It looks adorably awkward as he struggles to find his balance. Just a few days later, the colt gets his “sea-legs” and can be seen with his little neck arched, nose tucked in, prancing around with mincing little dance steps, strutting his stuff to show off for his Momma. At the slightest provocation, that little colt might flip up his tail, give a little buck, and take off at a high speed gallop. His little nose will point in the direction of his outstretched neck as he goes flat out with all the speed he can muster. Just like the thoroughbreds as they near the finish line, the need is for speed and full forward propulsion. A quick transition at this point is difficult and dangerous. A quick move other than forward could cause a stumble or snap a limb.
Flex-Power is the term I use to describe the ultimate energy and grace we need for life transitions. Just like the horse, if we stubbornly stick out our noses and stretch out our necks, a quick transition or change is difficult and can cause problems for us. We can feel blind-sided and out of control when our forward movement is tampered with. We may be knocked off our stride and sometimes knocked off our feet when we run headlong into an obstacle. The same can happen when we have blinders on and only focus forward without ever looking around. We can be T-boned and near even see the culprit coming as we lie on our back with the proverbial stars coo-cooing around our heads. It happens to all of the people who are courageous enough to take risks. But those are also the people that will make their dreams come true! And you CAN recover from a teeth-kicking!
Here are some tips:
– Collect yourself up to improve your balance and flexibility BEFORE something happens. With this I mean to start each day with some sort of grounding routine that can set you up to face your day in a positive way. You may meditate, work-out, read, write, or something else. Take the time to do it and you will see a HUGE difference in your ability to handle all things!
– When something happens…STOP! When all of the wind is knocked out of you, it is easy to stop because you have no choice. This could be a good thing actually. When you have to stop, you can take a couple of minutes to collect yourself before making any other moves or blurting out something you may regret saying later. Nothing is worse than hitting your head against a brick wall only to jump right back up to do it again. That wall isn’t moving so you need to realize that before giving yourself a concussion.
– Don’t react – THINK! If you are already in stunned silence (been there!) then continue to be silent and gather up your thoughts to rein in control. Don’t let your thoughts gallop wildly away with your confidence and commitment to whatever it is that you are working on. In addition, this technique also applies to the time it takes to wipe egg off your face. Consider all your options and pick the best way to go or do. You may need to figure out a way around, over, or under that wall. You may need to recruit help or get advice. Ask for second opinions. Maybe you are too emotionally close to a project. Maybe you are writing a book that is near and dear to your heart and your first choice in publicists scoffs and says the story has “issues” and can’t work for any age! Is there a grain of truth? You need to find out. Don’t burn any bridges, just thank her (she may have just saved you from publishing a complete flop) and do some more research and investigating.
– Move forward again – carefully and cautiously with collection and renewed confidence. Another way to say it is ‘pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again’… but you may not have to start all the way over. You already took a good look at your options by stopping and thinking. Now is the time to act, albeit carefully and cautiously – but you really do know what to do so trust your instincts. Yes, you may have fallen off in the show ring in front of a huge audience, but you can remount quickly and hope the “judge” didn’t see you. You can still win but if you don’t win this time, maybe next time will be your turn! Go ahead and move forward with your project but stay collected so you can use Flex-power to conquer the next wall that may pop up in your path.
You will be able to dance around hedge rows like a Lipizzaner Stallion!
